Deviation Of Thought
Recently, around a month ago with a little allowance of time, I really screwed up my life so much that I have seriously wondered whether I am going back to the old path of self-destruction. Deviation of my thought on certain stuff which I am not going to mention here has really done me much harm to my health and my mental health. Losing sleep, eating lesser, finding no mood to do other stuff and suddenly, only weekends seem to hold more meaning than weekdays.
Though I did not regret what I have done and the time spent, it did not mean that I felt no hurt. Somehow, the hurt has manifested itself so deeply that it has somehow affected my mood and thought whenever I am alone. The best for now is to keep a low profile and, stop talking about it to my friend. Then, when I stop talking about it, it will stop recurring in my mind and soon enough, it will get to the back of my brain.
Realised alot of things during my journey to meeting my friend, Shi Chang and Yong Nan. People always say I screwed this aspect of my life up by my actions but, I do not think I really screw up mah. If someone likes you, though you might be irritating to other people, but, the person will be able to tolerate it and even like the attention that you give.
All said and done, I guess it is my just desserts too for having deviating from what I sought out to do just before my enlistment. I am not even sure why I am typing all these out for the world out there to read and those who know me. Maybe I just want to put in words and not breathe a word to another soul verbally anymore.
Though I did not regret what I have done and the time spent, it did not mean that I felt no hurt. Somehow, the hurt has manifested itself so deeply that it has somehow affected my mood and thought whenever I am alone. The best for now is to keep a low profile and, stop talking about it to my friend. Then, when I stop talking about it, it will stop recurring in my mind and soon enough, it will get to the back of my brain.
Realised alot of things during my journey to meeting my friend, Shi Chang and Yong Nan. People always say I screwed this aspect of my life up by my actions but, I do not think I really screw up mah. If someone likes you, though you might be irritating to other people, but, the person will be able to tolerate it and even like the attention that you give.
All said and done, I guess it is my just desserts too for having deviating from what I sought out to do just before my enlistment. I am not even sure why I am typing all these out for the world out there to read and those who know me. Maybe I just want to put in words and not breathe a word to another soul verbally anymore.
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